21 September 2005 @ 04:07 pm
She  
A literary meme originated from MercerMachine.

I am the baby who looked forward to evenings walks with her young mother in the hospital compound where they stayed.

I am the child the kindergarten principal turned away because she was too young for school. I am also the child who stood at the door with her yellow schoolbag and cried for months wanting to go to school with all the other kids.

I am the sister who laughed at you when you fell into the big monsoon drain. I am also the sister who got caned for saving you when you were locked in the toilet by our mum.

I am the girl who cycled around the neighbourhood everyday, climbed the monkey bars, walked in the drains barefoot, and rolled down hills with you.

I am the granddaughter who watched you eat bread soaked in milk because you could no longer take solid food.

I am the daughter who watched her father cry for the first time when he was hit hard by the recession. And the second (and last) time when he buried his mother, her grandmother.

I am the thirteen-year old that prayed fervently every night for 8 months to get a scholarship to Singapore and was overjoyed when she got it.

I am the awkward teenager who put up a brave front when saying goodbye to her friends because she knew she had no home or relatives to celebrate her first Chinese New Year with in a foreign country.

I am the daughter who wrote a million letters home but never opened letters from home because she knew it'd make her cry.

I am the girl who secretly had a crush on you for the longest time but never said anything because every other girl had a crush on you too.

I am the girlfriend who went to all of your soccer matches and thought the world of you.

I am the girl who flew to US on her own just to see you.

I am the girl who broke your heart when she told you she loved another.

I am the girl who felt as if a part of her died when your plane went down in Arizona. I am the girl who still misses and thinks of you everyday.

I am the girl whose hamster you killed.

I am the girl who took a bus with you to buy fluorescent-green avocado juice at the NUS Science Canteen during study breaks.

I am the girl whose hand you let go of because you were ashamed to be seen with me.

I am the girl who gave up everything to be with you, only to realise you never intended to do the same.

I am the girl who eventually learnt to walk away and let you go.

I am the friend who has promised to walk with you.

I am the girlfriend whom you said you wanted to grow old with.

I am the woman who wants, more than anything, for her life to begin.

I am the baby, the daughter, the sister, the girl, the woman. Yet without all of you, I am nothing.
 
 
I feel: nostalgic
 
 
( 41 notes — Post a new comment )
michelle[info]unpolished_gem on September 21st, 2005 08:17 am (UTC)
beautiful words. so heartwarming... especially so when i am so cold and lonely in penang airport right now.
Moley[info]olimomok on September 21st, 2005 08:22 am (UTC)
oh michelle, don't be sad! you'll be back soon. *HUGS*

i loved it when i read it at mr brown's yesterday :) it's the things that made us the way we are.
michelle[info]unpolished_gem on September 21st, 2005 08:24 am (UTC)
yes i will be back soon. since i have sat here for the past 2.5 hours... one more hour will be over soon.
cosmic_cow[info]cosmic_cow on September 21st, 2005 09:19 am (UTC)
aww...that's beautiful.
i wanna do one too. but i need to sit down somewhere quiet and really have a think abt it.
it definitely brought tears to my eyes, cos it's so wonderfully written.
*hugz debra*
Moley[info]olimomok on September 21st, 2005 09:33 am (UTC)
yes please do one. i'd love to read yours :)
Candice[info]missus_teh on September 21st, 2005 09:55 am (UTC)
aww. that's lovely. i want to go work on mine.
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:33 am (UTC)
i got it from mr brown and miss lolitapop. think there are a lot more "i am the girl/boy" at tomorrow.com.sg.

i'd love to read yours, candice :)
iceglacier[info]iceglacier on September 21st, 2005 09:58 am (UTC)
Wow... that's beautiful.
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:35 am (UTC)
thanks :)
lilsnooze[info]lilsnooze on September 21st, 2005 10:08 am (UTC)
beautiful. Im actually excited to start one too, but afraid what I will write :/
Hmmm..that was very brave of you..esp the more emotional ones.
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:38 am (UTC)
that, my friend, is the story of my life :) it's the hard times that make you cherish what we have now.
lilsnooze[info]lilsnooze on September 22nd, 2005 01:20 am (UTC)
and what dosent break us makes us stronger!

We get so affected by broken relationships.
I would have said more about them when I did this, just that I don't think tehpeng wants me to talk abt the past much. :)

Oh well. Happy times for all of us now.
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 01:29 am (UTC)
A friend told me this a while ago. We must learn to let go off the past so that we don't become angry bitter old grannies one day!! That's quite a funny picture in my mind.. HAHA

Foopy doesn't read my blog much. Don't think he'd mind anyway coz we're clear where we are. Anyway I was telling him about this "I am the girl" meme and asked who he is? Without skipping a beat, he said "I AM THE MAN!" Sigh.

Well I'm very happy to see you so happy now :) I'll go read yours in a bit.
lilsnooze[info]lilsnooze on September 22nd, 2005 01:35 am (UTC)
Hahah.
Oh, that image is funny!bitter old grannies!!

He went I AM THE TEHPENG!

Hahahaha men think the same!
munchkin_cher[info]munchkin_cher on September 21st, 2005 11:18 am (UTC)
Very nice, debs! :) i laughed at the "big monsoon drain" bit. haha.
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:38 am (UTC)
Forgot to add that your bicycle fell in with you too. HAHAHA.
thru-e-rain[info]thru_e_rain on September 21st, 2005 11:54 am (UTC)
Sweet and lovely.
I just had to comment.
Would like to come up with my own too when I am free....
An interesting life...
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:42 am (UTC)
Hey thanks for dropping by. I'm sure we've all had bittersweet moments like that. Would love to read yours :)
JV[info]drag0nette on September 21st, 2005 01:49 pm (UTC)
echo what everyone said :) very beautifully written!

might do this on the weekend.... but same sentiments as yvonne: am half-afraid of what i will write!
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:52 am (UTC)
HAHA... thanks, JV :)

Aw that's all in the past. Don't be afraid to write.
orangetulipz[info]orangetulipz on September 21st, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC)
*tears in my eyes*

Everything you've written strikes a deep chord in me...

Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:53 am (UTC)
thanks, hon. you're too sweet la. one of them is for you. can you tell which one? :)
orangetulipz[info]orangetulipz on September 22nd, 2005 02:33 am (UTC)
Oh man, have you read mine? I have one for you too! I can't believe this..

I think I know which one... :) And yes, I will walk along with you too..

Olimomok: いつしように Greenwood Fish Market で ばんごはん-o たべませんか.
Orangetulipz: ええ,いですね。たべましよう!

Hee, sorry, can't help it.. just learnt this in class, so excited to use it!
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 02:37 am (UTC)
i will kick you if you walk too slow or look back!

haha, silly girl! but yes, i understood every word!! *beam* :)
orangetulipz[info]orangetulipz on September 22nd, 2005 03:35 am (UTC)
I love you so much!! *Big Big Hugs*

Keep sharing...
hamshit: peanut[info]hamshit on September 21st, 2005 02:27 pm (UTC)
oooh, i want my fluorescent green avocado juice now...
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:54 am (UTC)
HEHE... that was definitely for you! YUM... kryptonite avocado juice!!
lowd[info]lowdnoise on September 21st, 2005 02:40 pm (UTC)
It's beautiful, babe. So honest and so poignant. Now I wanna sit down and think about mine too. :)
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 12:54 am (UTC)
Thanks. I'm sure you'll write a beautiful one :)
booron[info]booron on September 22nd, 2005 01:34 am (UTC)
This has set me thinking of the past roles I have played too..
thank you for sharing this..
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 01:45 am (UTC)
yeah it was nice writing all that down. i thought about all the people at various stages in my life and how much they mean to me :)
juthepoo[info]juthepoo on September 22nd, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
i love that babe.. u write beautifully
Moley[info]olimomok on September 22nd, 2005 02:23 am (UTC)
aw thanks ju. i enjoyed writing and sharing it too :)
(Anonymous) on September 22nd, 2005 03:08 am (UTC)
lovely... *sniffs*
(Anonymous) on September 22nd, 2005 10:52 am (UTC)
Beautiful. I teared as I read some parts of what you wrote. You've inspired me to write one too...but like the rest, I'll need the time to sit, reflect and recall first....

Thanks debra,
Huey2
Moley[info]olimomok on September 23rd, 2005 12:39 am (UTC)
aw thanks, huey :) these are the things i rarely talk about because it's hard to share but they certainly left a very deep impression on me. people like my grandma, my childhood friends, Brandon - i will never forget them.

sure go do one in your own time. maybe you can get your students to do it too! take care, see you around :)
(Anonymous) on September 22nd, 2005 04:33 pm (UTC)
i always pass by your journal, read and move on. ya kinda like a shadow.
never leaving any prints behind. but this very entry touched me.

thank you for inspiring me to recall and think of what i am.

-pJ
www.i-love-pj.blogspot.com

Moley[info]olimomok on September 23rd, 2005 12:42 am (UTC)
hiya thanks for saying hello :)

it makes you think about the roles others have played in your life and you in theirs, doesn't it? i enjoyed writing and sharing this post.

ps. love you new papillos!
Andrea: nostalgic[info]am_klutz on September 22nd, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
I could almost relate to more than half of it..
It seems as though I've known you for so long..
A writing's beautiful, because it is written from the heart..
Just the way
You wrote it
Moley[info]olimomok on September 23rd, 2005 12:47 am (UTC)
aw thanks babe :)

*BIG HUGS*
(Anonymous) on October 8th, 2005 05:24 pm (UTC)
Hey there

stumbled into your blog and read this entry, hope u don't mind. I almost stopped breathing when I read abt the line abt the plane in Arizona.

The trainee pilot who perished in an accident last year (?) - I assumed you were the girl whom the papers mentioned - that he was beginning to be in a relationship with (then)?

Sorry to ask so many questions, if you are the girl...Wanna share that when i read abt the accident the last time, my heart sank so low, I wish no one I know have to go through this pain and loss. But glad to know that you're happily in love now though that doesn't mean that the the past are forgotten or erased.

Love your writings. You've come a long way.

Take care.

ping
publicity.materials@gmail.com